Hands of time

 I can't remember the last time I held dad's hand. I imagine it was back when I was a little kid. A young child needing saftey to cross the street or needing reassurance when faced with unfamiliar places. I imagine I held his hand a lot as I always felt safe as a child. 

This particular evening as we sat on the patio, I said to myself that I needed him this day to reassure that all was going to be alright.  I wanted to turn the hands of time and go back to when I was a child.  I wanted to go back to any and all moments where I had felt scared and have dad grab my hand and make it all better. 

Dad fell asleep and the first thing I did was reach for his hand. It is amazing to me that something as simple as holding someones hand can make troubles melt away.  A sense of peace came over me and for a moment, nothing seemed horrible. It was just dad and I with nothing but time on our hands. 

 I had a very hard time letting go of his hand.  But the sun was setting and the staff was wanting to get everyone settled in for the night. So I quickly reached for my phone to snap this picture so I would always have this as a memory.  But it is so much more than that to me.  It was a feeling of saftey and a way for dad to help me through this time.  I know Alzheimers has taken most of dads memory but I truly believe he felt all of this in his heart.  He may not have known who's hand he was holding and who's heart he was healing, but the feeling of saftey and love that comes from holding ones hand is something you can't unfeel.  And that is a silver lining.