At 11:30 on Tuesday morning, I was sitting at my desk finishing up some work before I was to leave for my weekly lunch date with dad. My phone rang and it was mom. She had said that it had been a rough night with dad as he had been up most of the night and couldn't sleep which also meant no sleep for her either. She said he was having a rough morning and she didn't think lunch was a good idea.
At 3:30 p.m. my phone rings and it was mom again. She was very upset and I could hardly get out what she was trying to tell me. I heard "911" and then the slam of the phone. I rushed to their house where I was greeted at the door by dad. I asked him what was going on and he just shrugged and sat down in his chair.
I learned that he had not eaten since noon the day before. He also had refused to take his medication. Mom was telling me she had tried but he was being sassy and not very nice to her. Dad is also diabetic which is a recipe for disaster with all factors combined. I asked mom to go out back and relax and that I would talk with dad. I sat down with dad but he started talking to the men on the tv as if they were in the room with us. I knew the longer he went without some food, the worse he would probably get. I went to the kitchen and made him a peanut butter sandwich. I added some chips to the plate, grabbed his medicine, and a coke zero. I took it out to dad and asked him to join me on the front porch. He did with no resistance. We sat there in silence for a bit while he ate his sandwich, took his medicine, and drank his coke.
It was a beautiful day, one where the sky was bright blue with big fluffy clouds that looked like cotton candy. There was a slight breeze from a rain storm that had come in the night before and the robins were chirping at each other. I had my head back and was rocking in the chair with my eyes closed when dad said "My grass is looking really good." Please see picture at top of page for reference and let me give you a back story.
My dad loves his yard. He loves anything to do with yard work. He has always taken pride in having a beautiful yard. Every other week, he would mow the lawn in alternating diagonal lines to keep the grass growing even. He used fertilizer religiously, and made sure the edges around the sidewalk were trimmed perfectly. The grass color was always a rich Kelly green, just like the Crayola crayon.
About a year ago, a patch of grass in the front yard started to die. We are not 100% sure what happened, but we have a feeling that dad had mistaken weed killer for fertilizer. For the last year, my brother and my husband have spent time raking the spot, putting down new seed, fertilizing, and putting down new soil to try and get the patch to regrow. The area is a perfect spot for regrowth and we have been puzzled as to why grass will not grow back there. We have tried several different times with always the same outcome.
I nodded and told dad that yes, I thought the yard was looking good. He said he had been working hard on it and felt the coffee and hot sauce was helping. I sat there for a minute not realizing what he had said at first, and then I asked him to repeat himself. He said that the spot of dead grass was looking a lot better since he started pouring coffee and hot sauce on it in the mornings. I wish I had my reaction on video because I imagine the look on my face was priceless. I sat there for a minute, not sure how to respond. So I asked dad why coffee and hot sauce and he said because if they can perk up a person, it should work the same on grass, you know...give it the "umph" it needs to grow. I just chuckled and agreed with him.
We sat on the porch for a little bit longer and talked about what had happened earlier. He didn't remember the details other than he was mad that mom had left him with people who were not his boss (home health care started the week before last and we are having someone come in to sit with dad 2 days a week to relieve mom). By the time, I was ready to leave, he was calm, relaxed, fed, and had his medicine for the night. All was well.
I have laughed over and over again this last week thinking about dad watering the lawn with coffee and hot sauce to "perk" it up. Mom is always worried that having a full pot of coffee on the counter is keeping dad up at night. But really all it is doing is keeping the grass in her front yard from growing.
Alzheimer's Disease takes a lot away from dad and I do not find many positives that arise from him having it. But small, sweet moments like this are priceless to me. It is like he is a child and trying to figure things out for himself and I am proud of him for that. And that is a silver lining.
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