Dad went to his final home on December 5. 

I plan to take a break from this blog, I may return one day, I may not.  But one thing I know for sure, is that I could not just leave the blog without posting one final silver lining. 

My life will never be the same.  My dad played such a huge part in my life.  He was so much more to me than my dad.  He taught me so much throughout my life and it saddens me to know that he is not here to continue teaching, mentoring, and loving me.  But some people never have what I had, and I was blessed to have him for 47 years.  So I can choose to dwell on the future or I can appreciate the past.  I am an optimist, so I plan to appreciate the past and move on with the future doing everything that I can to be like my dad.  I know I can never really measure up to him, but I will try until it is my turn to go home.  And all though I have no idea what our final home really looks like, I can only hope there is pancakes, lemon meringue pie, and coffee.  So that when I do see dad again, we can start right back where we left off. 

And here is my silver lining… There is nothing that prepares you for the death of a parent.  Especially when that parent was like mine.  11 months ago I started this journey, Tuesdays with Tony not knowing how it would end.  But something in my heart told me to keep going.  Every week I learned something.  I learned that I am stronger than I thought.  I learned that a family that sticks together, can get through some of the hardest things in life.  I learned that when life is hard, there is still something to look forward too like weekly lunch dates.  The darkest days are followed by light.  Even on those days when you feel like you are doing everything you can to find hope.  It can be as simple as holding someone’s hand, it can come from a smile from a stranger, a funny commercial, a kind word from someone you love, or most meaningful to me; a memory.  In honor of my dad, I will cherish all the moments I have left because you never know when those memories will fade away.