The lottery win!

 Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a big gambler.  I have been known to take $50 to Las Vegas with the understanding that when it is gone, it’s gone.  I love getting a lottery ticket in my Christmas stocking or a birthday card knowing that I have no expectation of winning, but thinking it sure would be fun if I saw a prize show up.  But you won’t find me buying them for myself or putting more than a few dollars in a slot machine.  Why?  Because I literally get sick to my stomach when doing so.  The thought of losing $20.00 in a matter of seconds is terrifying to me.  I think of a million other things I would, could, and should have spent that $20.00 on.  So I found it so funny when dad brought up this very thing. 

 

We were having a nice conversation about the boys.  He always, always asks me about the boys.  I think that is what we spend most of our time talking about which is fine by me because I could talk about them all day long, every day.  HA!  But as we were discussing how school and sports are going, dad says, “She only put 3 coins in.”  I asked dad who he was talking about and he said “Vanessa.”  He went on to say that I was sitting at the slot machine and only put in 3 quarters because I am a “tightwad.”  I laughed out loud when dad said that because even in the midst of all that is going on, he still knows his daughter.  He must still have this memory of me sitting at a slot machine in Las Vegas as a 20 something, broke, college student putting in the last of my coins. 

 

The brain is amazing and frustrating all at the same time, especially when a brain disease has taken over.  One moment, dad is talking to me, knowing it is me, and talking about the present.  And then in a matter of seconds, he is talking about me to me as if I am a stranger talking about memories from 20+ years ago. Most days, I find it depressing.  I want to scream and cry and ask “Why?”  But this particular conversation had me laughing and I was able to put aside the sadness and play along.  I ended up asking dad, “Well did Vanessa win anything?”  He grinned and said “Yep a whole bag full!”  I can honestly tell you I didn’t win a bit of money, but I sure won the lottery of dad’s.  (Silver lining).