The boys and I took dad McDonald’s today. He had mentioned to me on the phone the previous day that a cheeseburger sounded good. When we arrived, dad was at the oh so famous office desk writing on some paper. He looked at us, smiled, and said he was just finishing up with some things. I looked at the paper and saw some scribbles, nothing that resembled anything to us but I know it meant something to him. As one of the aide’s walked by, he handed her the paperwork and the pen and informed her he was done for the day. I think this says so much about my dad and his work ethic. He always had a strong work ethic and taught me and my brother the same. It amazes me that even in the depths of Alzheimer’s disease, he still falls back into that work ethic.
Dad picked at his hamburger and took small bites. He was too engrossed at watching the boys shovel their burgers into their mouths. There were points where dad would tear up and I would ask him what was wrong. He would just wipe his tears away and say “I just miss those boys.” At one point, Myles piped in and said “we miss you too grandpa.” I felt so sorry for the boys in that moment. They are such troopers and accompany me to visit dad at least every other week. I am so torn with how often they should come with me because I know it is such a sad situation to bring them into and I know they miss grandpa and how he use to be. I know they don’t know what to say to him or how to have a conversation with him. But it still amazes me how dad will ask them a question that makes no sense, but they answer him like they know exactly what he is talking about. For example, dad asked Will if he was able to finish up the wood pile project and he responded with “I did!” and dad asked Myles if he caught the walleye that was too small yesterday and Myles said he did but had to “throw it back.” Moments like these I beam with pride. I love their hearts. All though grandpa doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and there are long moments of silence during the visit, I know it good for the boys to have these moments just to be with grandpa.
Dad finished half of his burger and ate a few fries by the time the boys were finished and had sat there for 20 minutes trying to make small talk. All of the other residents were in the dining area eating their meals, so I told the boys they could go into the front sitting area and play the games they had set up in there from earlier that day. There was a corn hole game and a ladder toss game. The boys jumped at the opportunity to go throw some things around. I tried to encourage dad to eat some more, but he just didn’t seem interested. I asked him if he wanted to go watch the boys play and he said he would. I cleaned up and by the time I had got back to the table from throwing the trash away he was already in route to the boys. He took a seat right in front of where the boys were. I took a seat on the couch and took it all in. And what a wonderful sight it was.
The boys were having so much fun. There was a lot of laughing and brother smack talk. So much, that grandpa even got into it. At one point, dad grabbed his hat and put it on sideways and asked Will if he was going to let his brother beat him like that. I laughed and snapped a picture because dad always, always used to take his hat off and put it on sideways when he was trying to act funny. It reminded me of the past. And I was so happy to see that glimpse of dad again. (silver lining). It was like we were back 5 even 10 years ago sitting around my parents living room watching the boys play. All of us laughing at something being done silly, my dad putting his hat on sideways to try and be equally funny. Those were the days. Memories I hold dear and memories that I am so thankful my boys have (silver lining). Even today’s memory will hopefully live forever in their hearts, as different as it may be, it is still special in its own way.
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